By Benjamin Hebebrand, QuestAcademy
The transformation of a
child’s giftedness into talents or abilities is impacted by a multitude of factors
and persons. Fully or optimally developing potential is among the most
researched and discussed topics in both the soft and hard sciences. Theories abound
across cultures and across disciplines such as psychology, neuroscience, or
biology. Central in all developmental theories is the role of parenting – and
while parenting is not a science, it is a topic that is much debated and critiqued
and researched and tracked – and within that research is limited thought given
to the idea of parenting gifted children.
The most important
realization – particularly for first-time parents – is to recognize and accept that
there is no “magic” or “scientifically prescribed” approach to parenting gifted
children. “The only conclusion to be drawn from studies to date is that there
is not one superior type of parenting, nor one set of identifiable set of
family dynamics that leads to the fulfillment of a child’s potential,”
according to Robin Schader, research professor at the Neag Center for Gifted
Education and Talent Development at the University of Connecticut. This
obviously underscores the beauty and mystery of individual differences among
gifted children and their parents. As such, it is best to value both the
child’s and parent’s individuality. In recent years, we have been bombarded
with literature about parenting with an eye toward talent development. In my
mind, two central themes have crystallized themselves in recent years – maybe these
are the new “folk wisdoms” in parenting gifted children – 1) that excessive praising
or rewarding a child’s achievements may actually result in thwarting a child’s
potential; and 2) that actual hard work and practice is required to transform
giftedness into talents and that engaging in and completing such work is most
rewarding to the child (it is the “intrinsic” reward).
But yet of course it is
only natural or human for parents, particularly first-time parents, to seek
information about parenting, particularly when parenting involves a child who
displays giftedness traits that may not be observable in other children – and thus,
makes one’s child different from other children. Such differences manifested by
giftedness are not what make kids superior or inferior but rather have the
potential to influence a child’s life in terms of his or her learning both on
cognitive and social-emotional levels. At this point, it may be evident that a
gifted child may thus have needs that are different from those of many
children.
As parents, we all want
to do the best in meeting those needs. A review of thousands of parental
inquiries received at the National Association for Gifted Children reveals that
a little more than a third of questions revolved around the theme of how to
recognize giftedness and how to enrich a gifted child. “My child is different
than others her age. How can I find out if she’s gifted,” or “How can I help my
child develop his exceptional abilities and assure they don’t go to waste,” is
how Schader summarizes these questions. A little more than a quarter of
inquiries seek information on programs or specific schools for gifted children.
Thus, we can conclude that among the earliest parental decisions to be made in
a young gifted child’s life is to 1) have the child assessed and confirm
giftedness (please see a previous blog entry entitled “Early Identification of
Giftedness”); and 2) to offer the child an educational experience that is
different than what can be found in most schools.
It is my experience that
if parents have successfully undertaken these first two steps of identifying
the level of giftedness and selecting an appropriate school that a child’s achievement
record becomes less of an issue. Conversely, if a child’s giftedness has gone
undetected and no specific gifted education programming options have been
offered, a gifted child may experience learning issues such as boredom or underachievement.
Of course, when we
discuss parenting and its influence on developing potential, we often wonder
about the parental home’s environment. “Within the literature, one can find
both discussions of a supportive, cohesive family as an important component, as
well as conclusions that a tense, challenging home is a contributor to high
levels of achievement,” according to Schader. “Although parent variables such
as educational attainment, economic status, parenting style, and energy devoted
to talent development appear to explain achievement in some children, the
results are not consistent, even within families.”
Schader as well as other
gifted education scholars believe that the topic of “parenting gifted children”
is worthy of further review and research. As a parent, I personally subscribe
to an approach whereby nurture, structure, and latitude are given at
consistently high levels. It is the fine interplay between structure and
latitude that I find particularly interesting in working with gifted children. As
parents, we are surely able to have influence on a child’s learning, and, according to Schader,
there is research that suggests that “parents of gifted children discuss and
explain rather than direct.”
